There’s no doubt about it. Our home is in a state of chaos right now. Over the past 2 1/2 months we have combined households. One already cramped little house is now stuffed even more with the contents of one cramped apartment and a few extra items from a previous home and despite our best efforts of purging before merging, we still have an overflowing closet and a garage packed with items we will no longer be able to use. In the near future, we will undoubtably become familiar with Craigslist and garage sales, something neither of us is looking forward to.
To add a little excitement to our adventure, we decided to tackle a bit of home remodeling as we merge our lives together. For the past 2 months we have lived in a construction zone of dry wall dust and work boot tracks through our bedroom. Every item of clothing we own has to be dusted off before we can wear it and the number of things we have lost in the confusion is slowly growing into the double digits. I can’t begin to express my gratitude for the patience and humor my partner through all of this brings to the situation. He noted quite accurately one morning, “Ya know babe, we’re gonna have to re-learn where everything is when this is all finished. Like right now, I know the Q-tips are under the trey in the box at the foot of the bed and the extra toilet paper rolls are under the towels in the chair in the corner.”
He’s right. And somehow I know, it’s all gonna be just fine. For a brief moment yesterday, I wavered on that idea. A close friend innocently asked as we were showing him the most recent progress, “How do you folks live like this?” Immediately, I started to defend our situation by stating the obvious facts about remodeling and moving, etc etc… I was thrown for a while, feeling judged and inadequate. The question of how “we” live in this registered for me as “how does HE live in this?” which quickly morphed into thoughts of my own inadequacy. My home is a mess EQUALS I am a mess – not a good place to be for me.
I woke this morning with these thoughts running through my head. I started a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, organized a countertop, and shuffled through a few boxes. I looked around to see our shoes lined up on the floor and suddenly the answer to my friends question hit me. How do we live like this? HAPPILY! You see, we’ve finally figured out that it really doesn’t matter so much what our home looks like. It really only matters how we both feel when we are in it and we feel very, very happy.
Today I am so grateful for the chaos that illustrates the merging of our lives.