An Open Letter to Myself

little-girlDear 10 year old me,

Take care of you. I know it feels like things are falling apart right now, the divorce, mama’s dating, Daddy’s crying, living with grandparents, new school, little brother. Resist the pull to be responsible for all of that. You aren’t the adult. Be a child. Play again. Laugh. You feel like you have to grow up fast. Resist that urge.

Know that you don’t have to be perfect to be loved. Make messes. Color outside the lines. You are a beautiful loving spirit. Know that. You are blessed with a beautiful healthy body, with muscles and curves. A body that will one day give birth to four healthy babies. Embrace it! And when someone tells you that you have a big butt, look them right in the eye and say, “Yes! I do!” and smile, knowing that your body is perfect for you.

Honor your body and honor your Self. Know that you are always enough. There will come a day when you will feel unworthy. You’ll be tempted to give yourself to a boy to prove yourself. Don’t. Wait. Always wait. You’re worth it. Let love come first. Let you come first. Take time to discover who you are before you get wrapped up in someone else. Your tendency is to put other’s needs before yourown. Don’t. Embrace yourself.

You’re gonna fall in love several times in the next 30+ years and every time will provide another opportunity for you to grow. Always trust your gut. Listen to that inner voice the first time it speaks. Don’t ignore it or try to change what it is saying. Trust that voice and you’ll never go wrong.

And if you find as the years go by that you may not have heeded this advice every time, forgive yourself. Know that every day is a new beginning. Change is often painful but always worth it, because life is change.

Know that you have everything you need inside of you at all times. You are enough. Much love,                                                                                                              Older Me

ps – Learn to meditate. Practice yoga. Don’t eat meat because you really don’t like it. And when, in the future, that really cute bald guy asks you if you need computer help, say, “Yes!” Say yes to him over and over. Show him who you are, warts and all because he’s gonna love every bit of you and every thing that you’ve gone through up to that point will all make sense. Trust me.

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