Living with someone who is away almost as much as he is home, can be less than ideal. Even though the hello’s can be pretty damn fantastic, the good-byes are always tough and most of the time I’m a big wimp when he’s gone. The past month has been especially rough. In addition to his normal travel schedule, he had extra trips thrown in that left me home alone for all but nine out of 32 days. During this time I decided to find things to be grateful for in his absence.
1. Unlimited access to TLC programming – This month I was able to clear out the list of recorded shows that are my guilty pleasure. It was a marathon of “Long Island Medium”, “Say Yes to the Dress”, and “90 Day Fiancee”. We don’t watch these shows together for obvious reasons. He doesn’t ask me to watch those crime shows either so it’s fair.
2. Menu-less meals – Although it hasn’t been the best thing for me physically, there is something nice about a bowl of popcorn or a peanut butter sandwich for dinner every once in a while. Living with someone who loves to cook has spoiled me so when he’s away, I choose not to use the stove. It wouldn’t be as tasty anyway.
3. Saving money on toiletries – To be honest, I don’t use a lot of shaving cream when I’m home alone. Eliminating this one chore from my day saves not only money but a lot of time and if I don’t have to go to the office, there’s no need for make-up either, or even a change of clothes. (I should find a way to track the savings. It could be substantial.)
4. Reconnecting with my inner child – Once I found the perfect number of pillows to surround myself with at night, it felt a bit like sleeping in the fort I built as a child. Of course, I disassemble the structure before he gets home. He might think I’ve lost my mind to see what our bedroom looks like when he’s away.
5. Enthusiastic housecleaning – Without fail, the day he travels back fills me with the urge to deep clean our home. I throw the windows open, turn the music up and do my best cleaning on this day. This might have something to do with the state of disarray the above-mentioned activities create after a few days.
I’m extremely aware of how lucky I am to have something that makes time spent apart so difficult. It’s easy for me to create long lists of things I’m grateful for on a daily basis. Occasionally, it’s nice to remind myself to look for moments of gratitude in the hidden spaces of my life too.
This post really connected with me. I’m in the reverse position, though. You see, I’m away from the love of my life for stretches of time that can seem like lifetimes. I understand how hard that separation can be, and I too can think about those perfect, wonderful hellos. Me and my girl say hello the entire time I’m home.
I agree there are some cool benefits, though. Things to be grateful for.
1. Being able to stay in my work clothes all day, because there’s nowhere to go but dinner and a hotel, no reason to slip into shorts and a T-Shirt and just relax with her. So my suitcase is light!
2. Being able to take advantage of my American Airlines status to get upgraded to first class quite a bit. If she were with me, we’d never score 2 upgrades, and I’d be in coach while I let her revel in the front of the plane. (I would still get free drinks back there, so that’s cool)
3. I love to cook, you see, so I do get to sample quite the culinary samples at my work dinners, either with others or by myself. This week it was Roasted Caulifower and Garlic in a Yogurt sauce with tender lamb. I might try that at home, because she’d LOVE everything about it but the lamb (she prefers vegetarian)
4. Saving money. I collect a LOT of those tiny shampoo and toothpaste supplies. I suspect we could end up homeless, but for sure we’d have GREAT teeth and clan hair!
5. Finally, and most grateful for – the last hour before I land, since that’s when all the missing her and needing her rise to the top of my heart, and I can feel her getting closer with every inch of the plane’s descent.
Sounds like your guy is pretty special, just like my girl. Stay grateful, I suspect he loves you more than you know, if he’s had that effect on you. Just like she has had on me.
Good luck, and, by the way, you are a GREAT writer, too!
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